On "Wetness"

(Yes, I'm going there...)


So, I want to say a little on the topic of perceived vaginal looseness, and the conclusions that some people draw from said perceived looseness.

This is a topic that, as with any other topic that interests me, annoys me to no end when a majority of people are extremely ignorant of its facts. Admittedly, I don't hear it come up as frequently anymore, but that all has to do with demographics. First, awkward art students don't appear to be one of the groups of people most comfortable with speaking on the specifics of sex. (Especially when compared to Marines.) And secondly, it could be successfully argued that most of my friends and close friends these days are women. But with that said, let me go back to the topic of Marines, who, being big mouthed enough to dare say what most other men are thinking (and don't think for a second that I am excluding myself from that "big mouthed" label), were the crowd out of whose mouths I would hear this come out of most often.

One of the facts of life for the average Marine is being away from home for long stretches of time, so this applied to many of them. "This" being the belief that, to put it bluntly, if you come home after a long absence, and your girlfriend/wive's pussy feels "looser" than it usually is, then it is proof that she was cheating on you while you were away. There is just so much wrong with that belief, that the last time that I heard it come up, a few weeks back, I succumbed to my need to fight disinformation and posted this for all of my relations on Facebook to see:

"GUYS: If your woman has been away from you for a while, and she then feels 'loose' when you fuck, it isn't proof that she cheated on you; dry vagina feels tight, wet vagina feels loose(r). If she felt wetter than usual (thus looser), I would take it as proof that she probably hasn't fucked in a while. (And that you're terrible at foreplay for not getting her as wet most other times.)


Your woman would have to be fucking someone who has a dick that's as fat around as a newborn baby for her vagina to get noticeably stretched. To add to that, if you have been beating off with a death grip in the interim, her vagina will also feel noticeably looser by comparison. (DUH!)


Could she be cheating on you? Yeah, sure. But unless her being more wet that usual is because there is a shitload of fresh semen in her vagina, I wouldn't use 'looseness' as a reason to accuse her of it. That's all I have. Thank you for your time and attention..."

Yes. I did.

(Now, of course there are exceptions, but I would argue that this is the norm, and generalizations help get the message across in a succinct, understandable manner.)

But to be fair, infidelity is kind of rampant in the military, so I can't entirely blame the men for being all paranoid and insecure about their wives and girlfriends. Also, the men do their share of cheating while they're away from home, so projection adds to the paranoia and insecurity around the topic. It's kind of the nature of the beast though. I won't say that infidelity is right, but expecting that a partner will feel no temptation when sexual frustration is high from months of not getting any is just unrealistic...but I digress!

If this offended any of you out there, I am not sorry. Also, if you know anyone else who spits the mindless, uneducated drivel that looseness = cheating, please help them catch the fuck up, so I don't have to blow my lid many more times, okay? Thank you. That's all I have for y'all. Carry on!

J, out...